A friend of mine posted a question on her facebook page. I answered her question, and so did several of her other friends…some gay and some straight. The question was, “Do you think teenagers should be able to experiment with same sex relationships if they feel they are gay/lesbian” Now, she wasn’t talking about having sex per se, but she meant “dating” the way heterosexual teens do. The conversation became very heated when a lot of the straight men and women/mothers and fathers, stated that they would not want their children coming to them telling them that they’re gay. A lot of them stated that they feel teens nowadays are doing “the gay thing” because it’s the in thing right now. So, I would like to know what you all think. If your child came to you, what would you say to them? What do you think about teens dating someone of the same sex. I look forward to hearing from all of you.
I think I would let them go ahead and do it. What if they really are? Is there anything you will be able to do to change it? Probably not. Will you love them any less if they are? Probably not. If it’s a phase, might as well help them through it ASAP. Get some tips on dating here:
http://ellipz.com/?p=109
Of course, being a lesbian myself, I would have to say that my wife and I would be supportive of our children if they say they’re gay/lesbian. We would also support them if they’re heterosexual, which there is always a good chance they will be. My thing about it is it’s dating. I knew when I was 4 years old that I was attracted to little girls. Who am I to tell a teenager that they don’t know what they want. I know there are some teenagers who may be into being gay or lesbian because it’s the “in thing”, but I believe they will move past that because it’s not truly who they are.
When this question was posed on Facebook, I could hear the fear in the voices of the parents. They sound like parents who will shun their children because they are gay/lesbian. That is so sad!!! Your child is still your child. Your love for them should not change because of their sexual preference.
1. i dont know who would want to date someone of the same sex unless they are indeed gay or bi. so if a teen wants to do that, then the horse is already out of the barn and prohibiting them from dating the same sex isn’t going to change anything.
2. people really need to get over themselves and their prejuidices because as we have seen time and time again, they do more harm than good.
I think part of the problem is, we have gotten away from dating. Dating is the time that teens (or adults) are suppose to figure what type of people they like, or don’t like. So, (and I am probably bias because I am a lesbian) if a teen thinks they may be interested in the same sex, dating is the way to figure all that out. Being gay/lesbian is hard as an adult. Being gay/lesbian as a teen, or at least wondering if you are, is even harder. The support of parents can really make a huge difference in the life of a teen who is dealing with a lot of other stuff including their sexuality.
I agree that the element of dating has been lost. We need to get back to that…young and old alike.
I think having the support of parents would be very helpful in the process. Unfortunately, some parents turn their backs on their children because of it. As a result, some children run away, commit suicide, or simply keep it inside. All out of the fear of how their parents will react, or based upon how the reacted when they were told. So sad.
I wrote a very long comment, but I lost it, so I made it short this time.
Im a homosexual/bisexual/or something like that, teenager myself so maybe Im not the right one to answear, but I’ll try anyway.
Sometimes parents doesnt want their children to be gay because they can be teased in school, beaten-up and other bad things.
The parents doesn’t have to be homophobics or so. They you just want their childrens best.
Of course there is homophobics, and thats bad, but everyone arent.
And I think teenagers can date who they want. Girl/girl, girl/boy, boy/boy. Just follow your feelings.
I dont believe that beeing gay is “in” or something like that. Not here at least. Everyone here seems to think its a shame and not normal. And its sad, because its makes it a lot harder to come out and be yourself…
Hi Even,
Thank you so much for stopping by and responding to my blog. I must say that I agree with you. Not every parent who doesn’t want their child to be gay is homophobic, but there are a lot of them out there who are. I have known I was gay since I was 4. No one knew until I was 17 years of age. My point in saying that is, I was picked on a lot in school…because I was quiet, people thought they could take advantage of me. I was picked on because I was dark skinned. They called me blackie, etc. So, my thing is, no matter what, you may get picked on for something. Kids are just cruel that way.
I know several teenagers who are “gay” because they feel it’s the in-thing. When I was in college the first time, we had some women who were “lesbian until graduation”. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard that term, but they were gay as long as they were in college, then they went on with their “straight” lives.
I applaud you. I agree that each of us should be able to date whom you want to. Unfortunately, the world we live in is not so diverse, and not so accepting.
My wife and I plan to have children starting next year. I pray that we raise healthy, happy children who have something to contribute to society…whether they are gay or straight doesn’t matter to us…just be a productive citizen.
If parents have taught their children to follow trends then they will attempt homosexuality if they think it is a trend. But if children are taught to be true to themselves and follow their heart, then this is not going to be an issue.
Like someone here said, if your child selects someone of the same sex to date… it’s a little too late to turn back the clock!
I think what the big issue is, is that a lot of parents aren’t teaching children anything when it comes to sexuality. So, some of them get out there with their teenage friends, and do what they do. It’s so sad that parents are taking the back seat on a lot of issues.